Make Your Own Gate
It’s never going to be “good enough.” It’s always going to be “good enough.” The only one who decides is you.
Dear Lovely Friends,
As the weather starts to warm up here in Antibes, the sun is shining, the birds are starting to sing in the morning, the signs that Spring is coming, or Spring is here, which always signifies new beginnings. On Tuesday this past week it was my husband’s birthday and Chinese New Year, a fortuitous synchronicity, where we weren’t sick, (as is usually the case around my husband’s birthday) and we did exactly what he’s always wanted to do for his birthday which is to go to the guitar store in Nice and then eat socca, (the specialty dish of Nice that is gluten free, and delicious, made from chickpeas, salt and water, sort of like pizza). As I mentioned in previous posts, according to all the astrology and this year being the year of the Fire Horse, this is the year of action, where all the seeds that we’ve planted come to fruition. Where we make new, powerful and empowered choices.
This week I’ve been thinking about the many conversations with writers over the years since I’ve been coaching and hosting writing workshops and the inevitable questions that always arise, “Who am I to write a book? There’s so many books/substacks/people on instagram. Why do I want to add to the noise?” which is really asking the other question that comes from fear, “What if it’s not good enough? If I just have that stamp of approval, from an agent, from an editor, from my friends, then I can put my work into the world.”
F*** the gatekeepers, make your own gate. (And also we love some of the gatekeepers and want to make it so they want us,) so how do we do that?
I truly believe publishing your own book is one of the best decisions you’ll ever make in your life. If it is something that you’ve always wanted to do, now is the time to prioritize it. Not only does publishing a book give you credibility and authority but it also opens doors of opportunities and possibilities that you never even imagined existed until now. It leads you to make connections with people that you didn’t even know were in your circle of influence.
What’s a circle of influence? Do you even have one? Yes, we all do. Even when we think our audience is small, it’s powerful, and has more impact than we realize.
Write to the objection of the little voice on your shoulder, telling you “Who is going to care about my story?” I promise you, people care. They want to read (hear if they’re into audio books) what you’ve been through, what you’ve learned, what you’ve noticed and what you’ve imagined.
It’s never going to be “good enough.” It’s always going to be “good enough.” The only one who decides is you.
I’ll say it again, the only validation that you are ever going to have is your own. That you did the best that you could do at the time with the resources you had available. I work with so many artists, writers, my husband works with musicians and we see it all the time. They want to get approval/validation that passes a gatekeeper, an arbiter of taste, someone who will supposedly open the door for them, and yes this is great when you have the support and stamp of approval from someone who has been deemed an expert in their field, but you know what else?
Those arbiter of tastes want to know what you can bring to the table. Are you making your own table? Because everyone always wants to know how it is going to benefit them. Are you going to make their life easier because you’re already coming with fans of your work? Are you going to make their life easier because you’re super passionate about your art and you’re bringing a new way to reach people that they’ve never thought of before?
What makes me the saddest is brilliant writing languishing in your desk drawer. What if that piece of writing could help, inspire, make them feel less alone and here you are just keeping it in the drawer out of fear that it’s “not good enough.” It makes me so sad. It’s also so selfish, and you don’t want to be selfish do you? You most likely consider yourself a generous and caring person, don’t leave your brilliance in hidden folders on your computer.
The reason we were taught to go after traditional modes of publishing is basically because we didn’t have money up front and the avenues that exist now didn’t exist in the accessibility that they do now. It’s super easy to publish your own book, it’s actually not that expensive, and in fact so many people I know get a contract for a book for not that much money to begin with and then find that they are making pennies for each book sale. When you do it yourself, you control the design of the cover, you control who you choose to be on your team, you control the costs, and you make more that 70% on each book sold. I truly believe that you can definitely make back what you invested and then some. Aside from all the non-monetary benefits of finishing something, of closing a chapter in your life and starting a new one.
By all means go for the agent, the editor, the independent publishing house or one of the big fives, but know that at every stage, there will be a critic. There will be someone who doesn’t think it’s good enough, there will be someone who doesn’t like it, and that’s super scary, but what’s worse is not fulfilling a dream because of fear of rejection.
The benefits from publishing your book truly can outweigh and surpass the costs. You could book one speaking engagement, one client, several clients, start an entire business from that book, like I did. My investment to publish my book myself was about seven thousand, (any business has upfront costs) since then I’ve made back more than twenty five times my investment in my business in five years.
The cost of not putting your work out there, of not publishing your book, of sharing your art is also your time, if you don’t take the bull by the horns and do it now, you’re actually losing not only money but also time.
Every business has an upfront cost and most businesses, it’s understood, don’t usually make money in the first year. But for some reason (hint: patriarchy) we expect our business to make money. Or to make money without spending any money to start it. Which is not how businesses work. Even if you have a lemonade stand you start with $5 for the lemons, there is always some sort of start up cost. Which makes me think of Lucy from Peanuts offering Psychiatry at 5 cents, even she needed the wood and her time to sit there.
It makes me laugh. Whatever way you choose to put your work out there in the world, from the major publishing houses to creating your own, you are in business for yourself. Any artist is, and that’s what’s fun. It’s fun to reach people. It’s fun to see what people respond to, it’s so joyful when you can make people laugh or cry with your work.
And when in doubt, when the fear comes in, you can use the mantra that I adopted from Maggie Reyes, or Simone Seol, not sure who now, “I give people permission to misunderstand me.” The only one who can give you the validation is you. But I can almost one hundred percent promise you, that someone out there needs to hear/read what you have to say. What are you going to share today?
Take twenty minutes and write about how you want this year to be for you. What is the new chapter that starts today? What are you letting go of? In my last Thursday writing workshop I gave the prompt to write a fantasy. Make it so real that you feel it. No limits, dream big. Could be an intimate fantasy, could be a global fantasy. What would you love for yourself? For your loved ones? If you could wave a magic wand what would you want to happen?
Happy Writing!
xox,
Augustine
